The Elusive Ingredient

​The Elusive Ingredient: The Lost Goal 

So I finally created a due date for the first draft of my book: May 1st 2021.

How did I almost forget I had that as a goal? Last week I was making a list of my 6 month objectives and what I needed to do to accomplish them by May. I went through the list and I was like, ok….create new classes check, revise website check, write more consistent blog posts check. But there is something else...something about writing..what is that again? Write ..write….oh! Of course! Write the BOOK! 

I mean does that mean that writing the book wasn't important? I don't know. After the 2020 New Year I had this overwhelming desire to share my life stuff: my do's and don'ts as a creative; the laughs as an adventurer; the weirdness as a black girl in Paris; working in west Africa; and general learnings as a designer - all as goofy conversations between me, myself and I!

I announced the goal in January to my mom - a perfectly lofty goal for a concerned mother in the States. It was a nicely wrapped conciliatory gift she could share amongst friends instead of empty promises of french grandkids. I don't know if I was serious enough about finishing the first draft this year though. It seemed to be a goal I would do in the future...like in a year or 10. That technically is the future right? 

At times, I even used the news as ammunition, transforming the in-laws', “how is the styling and clothing business going since Covid hit Tyese” conversation into a more promising, “ahh c’est bien ça”. 

Admidly, I lost track of the book goal and now here we are at the end of November 2020.

It was almost like a lost item on my grocery list. Like I had it down as a part of a recipe, a year back and never found it at the store. So you know how it goes, you cross everything off on your list in your basket except that one ingredient.

You figure you will eventually get it later...somewhere else. Then, life happens and you find yourself cooking the recipe already, chastising yourself about not having bought that last ingredient, then substituting it with something else, less potent, maybe even bland just to finish the meal. Eleven months later you find that wrinkled grocery list in a pocket, wondering if you ever really needed that elusive ingredient. 

Well, I guess I did. So what was the ingredient missing? Courage. But not courage to be vulnerable and face my past life or the painstaking task of transcribing my brain chatter after 30 years... nor even the well known imposter syndrome.

It was simply the courage to set a deadline and allow myself to dream it...to visualize myself receiving a call from an agent about a book deal or the courage to just write 2-3 hours a day. Courage, it seems now, is so basic when I think about it. 

Actualizing what is happening on the inside of you is where the courage happens. Don't let a labyrinthian word like 'courage' slip without scrutinizing it. Then you'll know what it stands for...instead of something like fear.

So, what’s your missing ingredient? Sure you have goals but what’s on the grocery list you've not marked off? What's that one ingredient that you’ve lost track of thinking it will show itself later to get the "it" done?