Instead make a list of stuff you love to do (guilty pleasures not that you need to do), takes literally 5 min and that’s not online. Then tape the list on a wall by the coffee or the fridge or bathroom and each time you are there, just “take 5” on one of the things on your list to get yourself out of the loop….of confusion. [Insert evil laugh]
It doesn’t matter if you are ‘ready’ for a break or not. We need to clear our head and get a new perspective about an underlying issue you (I mean me) are evidently having and just not doing anything about.
People don’t know how to react to anything these days. They mostly do/react how society tells them. A friend experiences a death in the family so you say “I'm sorry.” Why? If you’ve been in that situation, the last thing you need to hear is another “I'm sorry.” So, say specifically what you want them to say or how to react. “How’s the audience effect, sound quality, color tone, shape, etc of this piece?" If not, they may fall into the loop of the general, “yeah, it looks good.” We aren’t 15 years old any more and don’t need someone to blow smoke up our A**….well, anymore. We need the a real opinion.
Don’t be sad if someone doesn’t ‘understand’ your work uh hum…cough...mom. "Wait, who said that?” It’s just that we leave the question too…vague. Either they will like it or not. Either A don’t ask them or B, stop telling everyone you are creating this and that. It’s like secretly we are asking for validation. And when we don’t get it, we feel like we haven’t accomplished what we wanted or we second guess our talent. [And...enter loop of confusion stage right]
3. You’re cheating on your BF …with Google
You know you are in the loop of confusion when we look up stuff on google when we already know the answer…or at least most of it? We spend hours and hours on google hoping it gives us ideas for what we want to figure out. Hours of productive time and then we get frustrated or down a rabbit hole in the "Loop." Why not just ask ourselves a super specific question about what we really want to know BEFORE we click on google to give us an answer? It's more direct, takes less time and we spend more time with a `BF than hours of what we call “research” online. I got news for you, it's not research…it's a time suck.
“Okay, Google” (or Siri)…”What is the best website tool for bloggers?” I really just looked this one up and it was the most timely-ness time-suck ever. I could have just thought about it for a sec, brainstormed what I really wanted to know and then asked, “Which blog sites offer features to make online classes?” I spent like 2 or 3 hours searching for just that right answer. I literally could have found a jackfruit in a field somewhere hot, made a vegan burger from it and ate it by the time I found the answer I really was searching for. With google, do you see, we use it-not for research but for brainstorming. This is very very bad for creative thinkers. We put in keywords hoping to “get close.” Let's campaign to use our brains a little more before we do that actual search. #gobrain!
Let's off the white picket fence and give ourselves a real definition of what “perfection” actually means. Perhaps it’s a checklist of criteria of what the perfect project entails: does it have at least three colors in it; does it communicate three aspects of my mission; does it have 300 resolution, etc.
Perhaps you can assign it a percentage of what you mean by perfected. "If it's x% perfectly completed, that will be good enough to `pause’ and stop." It will most likely never be “perfect”. Pausing between version 1 and 2 and 3 could be 1 day, 1 week or 1 month, but sometimes we need to get paid and better yet, move on with life to get out of the "loop." A brilliant author told me just yesterday that she is working on her 3rd draft. She said that once it’s 85% ‘good enough’, she’ll submit it. "If the book is any good, the publisher will ask for another edition later or have an editor finish the process." What a good outlook? Take a deep breath guys….because if we don’t let “it” go (let the baby go and do its thing), you’ll stay on that white picket fence and not go anywhere else fun.
'5. Worried about the “H” word
If you use the "H" word to frequently, you can get stuck in the loop of confusion! Its the word, "how." In the English language, it’s like the 5 Ws (who/what/when/why/where that start a question) are in a cult always hanging out and the “H” (How) is always the loner. We use the 5Ws for everything light and fun and interesting. Where is the party? When do I get paid? What's the book about? Maybe it’s because asking “How” is so……well, horrible! It’s heavy, big, complicated and generally asking it has a very uncertain answer. It's like my mom asking but “how” are you gonna do fittings in Paris when there's Covid? Am I talking about my personal life too much?
Anyway creatives, why do we need to use it at all? Asking “how” can stifle our creative process. How do we make the money? How to transfer my passion to selling my work? How to find an apartment in Paris? This question should be replaced by three simple words, “`in-what-way.” There…now, doesn’t that feel better? The pressure just lifted, temperature on your forehead dropped and now you can simply list the countless fun ways to find that apartment, unique ways to locate an audience, create classes, etc. Listing things is easier than trying to solve complex solutions to problems made bigger by our big ‘ol monster creative imagination. We have enough stress and worries in the world right?
© TYESE COOPER 2020. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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